E-mail Reply Expectations too High?

“Why doesn’t my “Ex” reply quickly to my e-mails?”  “Why is it that my Mother never replies to the e-mails I send?”   “I never get responses to my e-mails — why is that?”

There could be many different answers to each of those questions.  Maybe your Ex doesn’t want to communicate with you — take a hint!  Or, maybe he/she is simply busy or away from their computer.  As far as dear old Mom, maybe she didn’t feel a response was needed or required.  We are all way busy in today’s rush-rush-rush world and many onliners think they are too busy to reply to every single e-mail.

First and foremost, before you go off the handle complaining about no responses, ensure your e-mails are being received.  If you are doing spammy things in your e-mails, it could very well be that your e-mails are being blocked by ISP and network spam and security filters.

I’m not saying that is O.K. to not respond — it isn’t. I just think that with this instant communication perception with e-mail, that folks may have too high of expectations without considering the other side’s schedule or status.

On the flip side, if someone (someone you like and want to be in contact with) takes the time to send you an e-mail, at the very least make the effort to reply and let them know you received the e-mail with any comments you may have.  If they expect too fast of a response, make them aware of your schedule so that you can help them to have more realistic expectations.

That said, unfortunately, there will be times when the other side won’t reply.  They could be narcissistic and only reply when it suits them. Or, maybe they simply don’t want to have contact with you — and that is their choice to make.

If you are concerned about someone’s lack of response, use that nifty cell phone to call and make sure they are O.K.  Make the point of stating that since they did not reply to your e-mails, that you were worried about them. This may help them to be a bit more aware of how you perceive their lack of response to your e-mails.

Responding as promptly as possible (and making others aware of your expectations), even if to just send a “Thank You” helps build relationships, avoid unnecessary concerns and misunderstandings.

You may also be interested in:

• E-mail Etiquette Requires Your Reply
• Why Don’t People Reply to E-mails?